I'm in Wallis for a few days with my parents. You can't escape your condition and god-damn I'm tired of hating myself because of my bourgeois family. Anyway I'm living in luxury, in a nice hotel with a spa. Everything is beautiful I have to say, so much old artifact here. Some ancient paintings and engraving are on the wall. I miss my guitar and the cold is unbearable, my phone battery doesn't last long outside. And it's for the better i can't text her. Today i blocked her from all my social networks, and i feel light now. A lot of things happened since I've wrote them. That's what i say to all my far away close friends. Well i lost my best friend and it hurts bad, really really bad. And It's all my fault. She helped me a lot and I'm very thankful for it. She helped me go thru what i thought was the hardest part of my life. Jokes on me it's right now the hardest part of my life and i feel alone, i miss her. Depression is though, it's not an easy road it makes you go to places you never thought you'd go, do things you'd never thought you'd do. So many lines are in my nose. Facing your problems is fucking hard no wonder that you're high. And there's so many problems that doesn't have a solution. What if it was my mind that was fucked up, what if addiction was in my dna ? Well it is, they told me that at my psychiatric hospital. I'll have to write it someday. For now i don't know if i need a rest or a party. I'm so fucked up, i sleep in the day and live in the night, and this is not hotel friendly lifestyle.
I never rest i'll rest when i'm dead. I also miss my antidepressants i forgot them home, and it's quite bad. Yeah, my SSRI are not in my brain, and it makes me want to end that comedy forever. I know i could do it and that's what frightens me. I like the snow and the blue sky, I'll write more soon, hopefully there will be a party someday. I have to tell you about the few months that passed, but I don't have the strength right now.
Vous savez les choses changes pour le pire et le meilleurs , et dieu, le destin ou yoahn schneider amman ne semble pas toujours prendre les bonnes decision , et la je parle des morts de famines de l'esclavage, de la guerre au yemen ou encore de wall street qui a une petite part de responsabilité dans les exemple précédemment cité, pas de ma bisexualité bien sur ! Je vous le dis l'hétérosexualité c'est comme le liberalisme c'est une impasse , c'est cool un moment puis tu te rends compte que c'est tout nul. Ma décision fut brève et pas totalement volontaire et vous allez me dire que quelque chose est volontaire ou ne l'est pas mais qu'il n'y a pas de partiellement volontaire dans la physique mécanique, et vous auriez raison , mais ne me coupez pas car les phrase au dela de dix mots me coupe de mon publique potentiellement fan de tpmp et ça me chagrine car cette émission fait tout pour la cause , ouais non. Enfin bref j'étais assis sur mon throne mo...
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